Happy b'day America

US recently had its 300 millionth baby, the last 100 million was also its fastest. While European union, Japan, Russia and to some extent China are on a suicidal spree (shrinking population in the next few decades), US population is expected to cross 400 million by as early as 2043 (Economist). This will help avert problems that will plague others (social security, insufficient workforce, culture clashes with immigrants etc.) and fortunately/unfortunately, US dominance may not wane anytime soon.

I’m gratified

I just had a casual conversation with a batch mate, a relative stranger. The person would love to work with me because I’m a workhorse (word of mouth). Boy, I felt wonderful.

Is extravert-introvert siblings a myth?

We read stories which portray diametrically opposite siblings. Is it a cliché which was invented to base a juicy story? Studies have confirmed that this is the norm.

The phenomenon is called sibling de-identification, popularized by American psychologist Feinberg, says this occurs predominantly in siblings of same sex, have limited age differences and those who are immediate ones (the first and third sibling tend to be similar than first and second, say). The second one tries to pursue different courses, enjoys different genre of movies, have different hobbies, which is acceptable. But what is surprising is that they have a very different personality traits even though brought in exactly the same environment- the second one is reserved if the first is enterprising, short tempered if first is warm, takes quick decisions if first is contemplative etc. Research shows the second girl of the family tends to be tomboyish and lacks feminine interests like dance, reading romantic novels etc.

Why does this happen? Siblings compete for parents’ share of attention and love all the time, which leads to friction (prominent cause of sibling rivalry). Over time, they (mainly the second one) try to differentiate themselves from the each other. (In marketing terms, they tend to carve out and operate in separate niches so that they don’t have to compete for the customer (in this case the parents) directly.) So, by having different personality, they unconsciously establish they are unique in their parents’ eyes.

I have a sister, 3 years older. She is the smarter one who pursued a lot of things- carnatic music, veena, bharatnatyam in addition to being a CA/ ICWA/ ACCA and god-knows-what-else. My relatives used to praise her in my presence and it always made me squirm. May be I am little reserved and short tempered (Ah, I hate to admit it!!!!!) and used to pick fights with her for no reason. It always gave me perverse pleasure. Now I feel I wasn't wrong. I was just a victim of Sibling De-identification. Hahaha.

Do you have any experience like that?

Why can’t world be a melting pot?

Just the other day, a sikh boy was beaten up and his long hair was cut off by a bunch of Scottish thugs. Punjabis in America are still mistaken as Arabs and looked upon suspiciously. Lower class Dalit women are paraded naked by upper class villagers at the slightest excuse in some Indian villages. Some Indian states previously imposed legislations stating only natives will get employment there. Some of my friends routinely taunt me that south Indians (like me) are not patriotic enough, because most of the famous freedom fighters (event dated 6 decades) are from north. When I grew up I used to hear this term ‘melting pot’ and wondered what's cooking, sorry for the pun. Thankfully people have long forgotten the term.

Why don’t cultures reconcile, let alone blend, even after decades? May be it is because of basic human psyche to be comfortable only with what looks like us, what we recognize. We trust things that we know and vice versa. Familiarity does not breed contempt; on the contrary, it inspires trust. To trust them/those is to gratify ourselves, in some way.

That is why advertising works. We hesitate to buy anything not advertised even if it’s cheaper (or especially if it’s cheaper- what will my friends think of me if they see this toothpaste?). It is another matter we never admit that we bought anything because of ads; At best we may admit that we bought something because other ads suck.

Now that we know that we can’t blend or possibly even reconcile fully, can we at least coexist peacefully? Fortunately, we have done it so successfully that we almost forgotten how significant it means. Because, the reason Pakistan lost its eastern part (now Bangladesh) was not because India fought for its independence, but because, the urdu speaking Pakistanis considered the Bengali speaking Bangladeshis culturally inferior and treated them as such. In India, Nehru sought to impose what he considered the superior language (hindi) on all states and had to drop the plan owing to stiff resistance. If he had succeeded, who knows what might have happened.