IIM L vanished

By our special correspondent
Lucknow, 19th of August.

Two weeks have passed since Indian institute of management, Lucknow
completely vanished on the face of the earth and intelligence agencies
are still clueless about the mystery surrounding it.

Readers may be aware of the shock waves that reverberated throughout
the world immedietly after the incident. Fortunately there were no
direct casualties although two guards died of heart attack. PM
Dr.Singh who was on trip to the US immedietly cancelled his trip.

Immediet reports suggested that it may be the handiwork of
terrorists.International community rallied behind India in these
sordid cicumstances. US President Bush expressing solidarity with
Dr.Singh said "At this tragic time, we will stick with our friends
and stick it into our enemies". British premier "desperately
condemned" the incident.

Many theories abound the mystery. One was that P.C.Sorkar made it
disappear but forgot to bring it back, although the magician has
vehemently denied it.

It is also possible that it is the handiwork of Dr.Murli manohar
Joshi because IIMs refused his fee structure. Because of the
political implications involved, the government has ordered Justice
Nanivathi commission to enquire how he was behind this.

The commission report tabled in the parliament recently said "It is
certainly probable that it is the handiwork of terrorists and not
uncertainly improbable that Dr.Joshi is behind this".

Because of the complex jargons involved, this correspondent sought
a statistics expert to decode the matrix. According to expert,
"Certainly probable is an oxymoron, though under boundary
conditions probability means certainity". When pressed about what
uncertainly improbable meant, the expert sneezed incessantly so no
comment could be sought.

The government's initial ATR(action taken report) said no action can
be taken on probabilities, due to left pressure, CBI enquiry has been
ordered. Disclosing this in Question hour Dr.Singh solemnly declared
"Rationale is one;conscience(decode-Left)is quite another. The
government respects its own conscience and hence this decision".

Regarding the future of students, Dr.Singh assured the house that
they will be accomodated in other IIMs. But some students like
sivananth complained to this correspondent that they are once again
put in a waitlist.

Reuters
Note:
This style is called you-guessed-it-right, satire.
Post 7/7 attacks on london when an innocent brazilian was shot, Blair
is quoted as saying "We are desperately sorry" which i found
desperately amusing. Bushism is genuine. As for as other quotes, you
will enjoy it better if you are up to date,eg. nanavathi report.